Exposure Photography Festival/Arte Laguna

I'm writing this as I fly back home from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, after a long cold weekend. February is definitely not the month I would advise anyone to visit this part of the world, unless you had no choice. This is coming from someone who has spent very little time in weather that is below 0 (Fahrenheit), though, so understand I have a slight bias towards a slightly warmer climate. My reason for being there was work related, though, and although I did, in a way, have a choice, I would have missed all that I went there for. This trip has been the almost like the kick-off of my year, and hopefully will be indicative of what is to come.

A few months back I found out that I had a piece accepted for exhibition during the Exposure Photography Festival. The festival, in its fifteenth year, included forty-three shows, along with talks and a portfolio review, all of which takes place in February. Most of the shows are in the Calgary area, but as this is "Alberta's Photography Festival", there were also things to see in Banff, Canmore, Longview, and Medicine Hat. If you don't mind the bitter cold, or at least know how to bundle up for such weather, I highly advise it as a festival worth checking out.

Outside of the piece that I had in the Open Call show at the festival headquarters, the portfolio review was my main reason for attending. As I have been working on my long term project, it was impressed upon me the importance of portfolio reviews, beyond the obvious aspect of getting further input into a work in progress. The review process can also be a way to get a project in front of some important people in photography, including those with connections to galleries, publishing, and the creative world outside that of one's own backyard. Even though this project is refined and, for the most part, complete, there is always room for improvement and welcoming the input of others. Seeing that there was a review component to the festival schedule, I made it a point to get to Western Canada... in February.

The review at Exposure was small, but definitely worthwhile, especially for the emerging photographer. It was quickly obvious that most, if not all the other participants were local, but even so, it is an amazing thing that they provide at this festival. All the reviewers were very experienced and knowledgable professionals that could shed amazing insight on the work of all the participants. Each participant was given twenty minutes with six different reviewers, giving enough time to take a look, typically, at one portfolio, averaging a size of 20-25 images. Mine was a little larger, but I found that, outside of reviewers just wanting to see the whole portfolio for the sake of seeing it, they got the gist through seeing most of it.

Personally, the review went well. I made some contacts that I didn't have before and was highly encouraged to propose work to some of the galleries in Canada, specifically those in provinces that include the "prairie". I didn't realize it until I got to Calgary, but there are many similarities to the small towns of the southeastern United States and those of the prairies of Canada. I plan on doing some more research into this and look forward to possibly being able to touch on this common bond that the two countries have.

Although bitterly cold, Calgary was beautiful, along with the limited part of Alberta that I got to see. I've decided I definitely have to come back some time when it's warmer and less icy. I highly advise anyone who is looking to get some exposure outside of your local area to do so by applying to festivals like Exposure. If nothing else, it is another entry in your CV that shows you are working and that people are seeing your work. The people that run the festival are extremely knowledgeable and helpful, and like the rest of the people of Calgary, were nothing short of nice!

On a side note, about the same time I had applied to Exposure, I also sent work for consideration in the Arte Laguna Prize for 2018-19. Although this was a new competition to me, this is the thirteenth time the competition and exhibition has been held in Venice, Italy. It was definitely one of those competitions where I was very unsure, just due to the fact that it is not only photography, but multiple disciplines up for prizes. As I've been told since I was young, over and over, you can't win if you don't try. Well, I'm not going to say that I won, because officially no one has, but it was a personal victory to find out that I am one of 120 finalists across 10 artistic disciplines. Although I won't know anything more until March, I already see this as something big. I am extremely honored and humbled just to be included in this group of artists. I'll be sure to let everyone know if anything more happens in regard to this.

Cheers until next time.

Ending 2018, Beginning 2019

Welcome to the New Year. It occurred to me that I hadn’t gotten around to posting anything since before Thanksgiving and was past due on updating on what has been going on. I have been busy personally and work-wise, and then there was this thing we call the Holidays. Through all of it, there was much that has gone on and I’ll try to cover all of it if possible.

Since November, I have been continuously working on my long term project, “A Southern Verse”. Between trying to edit and sequence the larger whole of the project for book form, sending it out for competitions, and continuing trying to get it shown, I’ve continued to have a full plate. For anyone that has worked on sequencing a large project like this, you can understand what I mean when I say that my dining room table has been covered for a good bit of time. I’m slowly coming to a point where I’m content with the edit and sequencing, but I still have some eyes that I want to have a look at it before I commit to putting together a mock-up. Once that is done, it will be another process of sending it out for competitions and getting more ideas on it, all in hopes of getting it published.

Much like most industries, things tend to slow down a little around the holidays, but this year proved to be a little more fast paced than in the past. Thanks to some valuable guidance from multiple people, I’ve been able to spread the project further through competitions and get some more eyes on it nationally and internationally. It is all a process, and even a rejection from competitions or shows is accepted, as it means the work has been seen. I have been fortunate enough to get recognition from the Neutral Density Awards, the Tokyo International Foto Awards, and the Woven Tale Press 2018 Competition.

Along with the recognition from Woven Tale Press, I have been notified that I will be featured in their February, 2019, issue. I will be sure to leave a link for the feature as soon as all is finalized and viewable online. Along with Woven Tale, I was notified that I will be included in Pastiche Magazine later in 2019. Again, a link will be made available for this when it becomes available.

As 2018 came to a close, I also have found myself sending out work and preparing for more travel. While in South America over the holidays, I was notified that I needed to send a piece to Vienna, Austria, which ended up being a little of a learning process in international shipping and timing, but overall turned out well. Along with that, I had work shown in Rome, Italy, and will be traveling to Calgary, Alberta, Canada, for the Exposure Photo Festival in February. While there, I will be participating in my first portfolio review of the year and receiving some helpful insight into my work.

On a side note, as I alluded to in the last paragraph, I just returned from South America and a trip to the Patagonia region of Chile and Argentina. It was a magnificent trip to a part of the world I have always wanted to see. It was by far an experience that I will cherish the rest of my life. If you haven’t already looked at them, I have images up under the “Places” section on the website. Most of these are images that show definite human presence in the region, which is more in tune with my usual work. However, I do have many images of the natural beauty the region has to offer. The insight into the effects of climate change and its effects on the region was both amazing and sad, but it didn’t take away from the stunning majesty of the landscape. I hope that we can at least slow the changes to this region and others, but it was also pleasing to know that not all is lost, yet. If anyone, especially photographers, are interested in knowing more, please contact me through my email address, available under “Contact”. Also, I have contact with one of the guides that we had who is planning a photo based trip in the region for April of 2020. If you are interested in looking into it, let me know and I can get you in contact with him and send you the information on the trip.

All said, the last few months have been highly productive. Along with the usual rejections, I’ve had many positives to lead me into this year. Both professionally and personally there have been wonderful things that have happened and I look forward to another productive and rewarding year. I hope that all continues to go well for both myself, and you, the reader, in another trip around the sun.

A Small Note for November

It occurred to me the other day that it is November and it has been a month since I’ve posted an update on all that has been going on. So, to rectify that, I figured I’d at least least post a little on what has been going on, work-wise, and some things that are coming up in the future.

This past month I had a show at The Fine Arts Center of Kershaw County, in Camden, South Carolina, along side the very talented Lori Isom. The show was wonderful and I can’t say enough about the wonderful facility that Camden and the surrounding area has at their doorstep. Along with the Bassett Gallery where the show hung, there is a theater and an entire campus that provides all kinds of classes, events, and resources involving the arts. Coming from a city that is over 25 times the size of Camden’s population, to see a facility of this level available to a city of Camden’s size is impressive. Other cities could only wish to have such a wonderful center for the art community to showcase their talents and share them with the local community. I’m sorry if you were unable to make it to see the show, but if you’re ever in the Camden area, go check out what the Fine Arts Center has going on, you won’t be disappointed.

In the meantime, and now that the show has come down, I’ve been working on multiple things. I am maintaining the constant flow of work out to be juried for shows and competitions, the subsequent rejections, and the welcome, yet less frequent, acceptance emails. New to me, in all of this, is putting together proposals for solo exhibitions. It is a whole new ball game that requires me to reach even deeper into myself to figure out how to make this work. Like anything else, it at times seems like a struggle that I will never be able to overcome, but then I quickly remind myself that it is just another process that has to be mastered. I’m not going to be great at it in the beginning, and even once I get a grasp on things and it becomes second nature, I will have to remember that rejection is just part of the game! If I’ve gained nothing else from this process over the past two years, it’s that I’m far less scared to put myself out there and can take rejection as an impetus to do more work.

As November has begun, so has loosely planning the next year. Although there are many things that I can’t predict, I learned from the year before that there are at least ways to get prepared for some of the surprises that came last year. There are portfolio reviews that I have been having to try and get ready for, and the travel involved with such. If all works out, it’s looking like Canada and England will be seen early in the year. I obviously don’t get to choose the time of year, because both of them I would prefer to visit at a more pleasant time of year! Either way, I’m looking forward to the possibility and any other that may show it’s face as the next year unfolds.

As it’s only two weeks away, I hope that everyone here in the States has a wonderful Thanksgiving. If I don’t get another post in over the next few weeks, you’ll hear from me in December to wrap up what has been a very busy, surprisingly wonderful, and enlightening year.

Continuing Work

After coming to completion of my last major project, though still working on the end goal, I’ve realized that there is no better time to start considering the next project than now. It seems odd to even think about as the past year and a half has been dedicated to this one long-term project. On top of that, because the end goal has not yet been achieved, there is the feeling that, although I know this is not the case, I’m not putting in the effort with making it to the end of the last project.

Like anything in life, this is a turning point. I’m fortunate that while I’m at this point in my work, my personal life seems to be taking some big turns, too, so what could seem a little strange, at the moment, feels almost like a par for the course.

As with anything new, especially in the beginning, it is both exciting and scary at the same time. The knowledge of past experiences, coupled with the mystery of what lies ahead, open up a whole slew of thoughts and ideas of what could be, good and bad. I like to think, though, that after working on what I have for the past year and a half, I have learned some things that will help point me in the right direction. I know the pitfalls and the opportunities when they come along, and how to handle both with more ease than I have in the past. That’s not to say that this will all be a cakewalk, though.

Over the time that I worked on “A Southern Verse”, I went through countless reassessments of what the project was going to be about in the end. In all honesty, at the beginning I was completely clueless as to where I was going. I had no actual goal or concept in my head, I just was going out to shoot, hoping that an idea would come to me. Over a short period of time, though, things started to fall into place. There was an obvious common bond in the places and style in which I was working, and through that, and countless pages of questions in my sketchbook, the pieces began to come together. I often think about the process like the way we would do jigsaw puzzles growing up. You look at the box once, then turn it over and don’t look at it again. The pieces are there, you just have to take time, use the knowledge you have, and work to make the whole thing come together the way it is meant to.

I have a project in mind now, and it is going to take cues from the work I’ve already done. I can’t say that it will be an extension of the last project, but at the same time can’t say it won’t be. For all I know, this new idea will, as they commonly do, evolve into something far from what I expected. In reality, it may become something that is nothing like what I envisioned, and that is fine. I have to remind myself sometimes to understand that although an idea may be solid and well informed, it might not end up fitting where my mind is at the time. Either way, I’m glad to know that I once again have something to be working towards.

For those who actually read these posts that I drop here from time to time, I will let you know when I start shooting for this new idea. Although most of the images might not end up on the website immediately, I will most likely be posting some of them, along with other images that inform the concept, on my Instagram (@holystitt). So if you want to keep up with things on a more regular basis, you can find it there.

I look forward to sharing more about this new idea as it solidifies. It may be a while, but I know that over time, the puzzle comes together and forms the concise work it is supposed to be.

October... Already?

I think I might have been a little busy as of late. The month of September has flown by and we are now into October. Football is in full swing, people are still complaining or rejoicing over all things pumpkin spice, and hockey season is about to start. However, none of that has to do with my photography, so I can go ahead and ignore that! What I wanted to do, though, was just drop a little info about what has transpired over the past month, maybe a few observations, and some info about anything that might be upcoming.

The last month, as I noted, has been quite busy! Between working on getting a show together for this month, and some wonderful things in my personal life (you can ask me in person about that), September was a little bit of a whirlwind, providing little time for breaks in the action. If it wasn’t something physical, it was something rattling around in my head that needed to be attended to.

As I think I noted in my recap of the summer, I found out that I would be showing all of “A Southern Verse” at the Fine Arts Center of Kershaw County in Camden, SC, along with paintings by Lori Isom, over the month of October. If there was anything that was on my mind over the past month, at least work related, it was that. Even when things were out of my hands while prints were being made and framed, the constant knowledge that the show was around the corner was in my head. As of this past Tuesday, though, the work is up in the gallery and I’m looking forward to the opening this coming Friday evening. If you happen to be in the Camden area, or passing through, between October 5, and November 2, please stop by and check it out. Also, give the Fine Arts Center a look too. I can’t express how amazing it is that a city the size of Camden has a facility as impressive as the Fine Arts Center. I wish Augusta had a facility like theirs that caters to so many aspects of the arts in one facility.

Earlier in the month, during the Arts in The Heart of Augusta festival, I was invited to be a part of “Ride or Die 3”, put together by Lauryn Sprouse. It was the second time I’ve been asked to be a part of this amazing group show that features selected artists from the Augusta art community. I’m honored, as always, to be included in the show, and in a community that continues to amaze me with the work that is created. The show was at the Miller Theater in downtown Augusta, and if you are from here and have yet to see it since it has re-opened, get down there for a show, the facility is amazing! Even though the weather was a little crumby over that weekend, people still made it out and there were just shy of 2000 people that came through the theater to see the show and the performances on the stage.

On a side note, if anyone is looking for a good place to get large prints done online, check out Artifact Uprising! Due to the show in Camden being printed, and needing to get prints made quickly, I had to find someone else to do the two prints I had at “Ride or Die 3”. I decided to go a little bigger than usual and took a chance with a company I’d never used. It was a gamble that paid off! The print quality was amazing, and the paper was high quality. I highly advise people to check them out.

Toward the end of the month I got word from the Midwest Center for Photography that I had been selected for inclusion in their 2018 National Photography Fellowship Competition for Developed Work. Included will be select pieces from “A Southern Verse”, along with work from 15 other talented photographers, all of whom, myself included, are up for consideration for the fellowship. I’m honored to be a part of this group and wish that I could get out to Wichita for the opening, however, I have to save money for upcoming portfolio reviews!

On the topic of portfolio reviews, that is part of what I will be working on over the next month, among other things. In the process of trying to get a book made from “A Southern Verse”, I’ll be spending a lot of my time finishing up the larger edit, looking to get a layout done, and making a mock-up of the book. I’d like to have that all done by the end of the year, so that the mock-up can accompany me to portfolio reviews, but we’ll see where that goes. It’s been exciting trying to make this happen, and has opened new doors, posed new challenges, and just made this journey as exciting as it is time consuming. I wouldn’t have it any other way, though. I’ve had lots of help from so many people now that making a list would take longer than writing this blog, but my thanks go out to all of you, you know who you are!

Besides getting out and shooting when I can, the rest of my time has been filled with trying to talk to as many of my friends in the local art scene as possible. We don’t always get to connect for lengthy periods, so when I get the chance, I like to take full advantage of it. I’ve had some friends move on, or preparing to move, to other places recently, and I’ve been lucky to keep in touch as best I can. Seeing new work from new locations has been fun. I sometimes complain about not getting to talk art as much as I’d like to, but it seems to come in waves. At the beginning of September it was at a little bit of a low point, but towards the end I had some wonderful opportunities to share with some people and hear what they have going on. I can’t get enough of that!

The month of October is looking up! Hopefully the temperature here will eventually start to go down a little, and by November maybe it will feel a little more like the falls I used to get in Massachusetts. Enjoy your pumpkin spice, or enjoy hating on it, and have a wonderful start to fall. Hopefully I’ll be able to post a little more this month, but if not, thanks to everyone for being there and supporting me and every other artist out there.

A Little Summer Recap

As summer comes to an end, at least as the calendar says, I figured I'd just drop a little update as to what has gone on over the summer, and what is to come in the next few months. It has been a far busier year than I ever expected, and although it kept me from doing some things, it has allowed me to do more work related things than I could have imagined.

The summer started with me working hard to get everything ready for The Photography Master Retreat in Esparon, France. I was pleasantly surprised to even be accepted, so I felt compelled to make sure that I was as prepared as possible. I hope that I didn't in any way ignore some opportunities or people as I was working on getting ready, but it was something new for me, and an opportunity I was determined to make the best of. I'll get into the retreat a little deeper in a bit, but I feel I must stay chronological with this, whether necessary or not!

I also had the pleasure, as May came to an end, to head up to North Carolina for a weekend to visit a former professor and mentor while he was teaching at the Penland School of Crafts. It had been 14 years since we had the chance to sit down together, but it was like we hadn't skipped a beat. The only regret I have is that we only got to spend a day together. However, the day was spent talking about work, looking at one of Neal's portfolios, and going to some galleries around the area. It's refreshing to be able to reconnect with people who made a difference in your life, and this was no exception. It was even more refreshing to be able to talk freely about work, process, and projects. This was by far one of the best things I did all summer, I just hope that we don't wait this long to see each other the next time! If you want some good insight into what it is like having a career as an artist, specifically a photographer, look up Neal Rantoul and explore his blog; it is a treasure of information.

June was spent doing something I wasn't expecting, but became another highlight to the summer. Right before the end of May, I was contacted by one of my friends at the Morris Museum of Art about helping with their summer photography camp that they do in conjunction with the local Boys and Girls Clubs. I was a little hesitant at first, as once it was over I would be leaving, within days, to head to France. Needless to say, saying yes to the opportunity was one of the best decisions I could have made. Although it put me a little out of my comfort zone initially, I quickly started to feel confident in what I was doing and how my part in the program worked. I got to meet some wonderful kids, ranging in ages from 11-14. There is a lot of creativity developing in each and every one of them, and whether they decide to put it into art or not, each one of them made me happy to see what the next generation has to offer. Don't get me wrong, there were moments, but overall I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I hope that I get to do it again next year, as I now have the experience under my belt and know more clearly what it is I can offer.

Fast forward five days after the camp was over and I was on a plane to France! For whatever reason, most likely my perfectionism being out of control, I felt I wasn't prepared enough for what I was getting into. I knew I had to do a presentation at the beginning of the retreat, but felt that I was not fully prepared. What I came to find out was that I probably wasn't the only one. The retreat, however, was a wonderful experience. Beyond getting to meet twelve other amazing photographers/artists, we were immersed in what felt, at least to me, like a one week intensive, graduate level, portfolio review. The "mentors", Martine Fougeron, Lyle Rexer, and Elisabeth Biondi, were amazing! Their help in editing, sequencing, and going over my concept were exactly what I needed. The input from them, my small group, and the rest of the participants allowed me to realize that, not only was my work tight, but was more prepared and ahead of where I thought it was.

After a week in Esparon, I hopped in the car with my roommate from the retreat and headed to Arles to see some of Les Rencontres de la Photographie, an annual festival of photography. Part of me wishes I had spent another night or two there, but I would have missed all the other places I saw, so I can't complain. I will have to go back to Arles some day, though. 

Along my way back towards Paris, I stopped in Grenoble, Besancon, and Meaux. All of them were amazing and really deserve their own small blogs. If you are interested in knowing about all of them, please don't hesitate to get in touch and ask! Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes, I was in France when they won the World Cup. It was an experience that I hope the United States gets to have one day, but I don't know that we would celebrate it quite as emotionally as the French!

Lastly, as I was getting ready to leave France, I got an email notifying me that I was selected to share space at the Fine Arts Center of Kershaw County, in Camden, SC. I will be sharing the space with an amazing painter, Lori Isom. The show will include all the pieces from the portfolio that was finalized while I was in France, so I will get to see part of the year come full circle. Although it is by far the end point to the project, it is definitely a milestone along the journey this project has been over the past year and a half, almost two. I'm glad I'll get to show it first in Camden, as my a good deal of my family will be able to come see it in person while it is up. Needless to say about this, but I have been working on getting this together since I landed back in Augusta!

As this weekend comes up, I'm excited that Arts in the Heart of Augusta will be happening. I'll have two pieces in the third edition of "Ride or Die". It will be just one exhibit around town featuring the work of some amazing artists living in, or from, the greater Augusta area. I'm more excited about this one than I've ever been. It will be amazing!

So, as we roll into fall, although it will still be sweltering hot here for a little longer, I'm enjoying looking back at a productive summer that had so much amazing things to offer. I hope for every one of you that it was just as amazing. I hope that the rest of the year continues to offer opportunities to us all. 

Embracing a Healthy Art Community

A month ago I was boarding a plane in France, heading home after an amazing time learning more about my process, my work, and myself. I know I mentioned it in the past, but the time spent there was, in a way, life changing. What I didn't realize was the changes I'd need to make upon returning home.

Since being back, I've been running at a rate that would be about 20 on a scale of 1-10. It has had positives and negatives associated with it, mainly only noticed by me. I've felt, at times, impatient and pushy, and I have had to consciously hold myself back at times to keep from showing myself as such. I can't decide if this has been a good thing or bad overall, but it has definitely been felt. If nothing else, I can at least attribute these feelings to the fact that I'm on a path I haven't been on before and I'm having to learn how to handle myself, my work, and my daily life to balance things. I think I've got this? There are definitely some positives to be taken out of these internal struggles, though.

While in France, and many times in the past, I found myself explaining why it is that I have decided to stay in the Augusta area and not move on to a larger city. Beyond the fact that it keeps me close to the subject matter of the work I've been producing for the past year and a half, there is an amazing community of artists here. I think more people are starting to realize it, slowly, but it is definitely there. Personally, I came home to the realization that as much as I try, right or wrong, I can't do everything on my own. I need this community and all it offers, even if I feel somewhat like an outlier at times.

Spending a week surrounded by other likeminded individuals put me back in an environment that I hadn't had in a long time, mostly by my own doing, and that I quickly realized I needed. Up to this point in my work, I didn't necessarily need any help. Yes, I've reached out here and there to get things done, get an opinion, or just wax creative, but to actively help enhance my own perspective was not something I was doing with the help or insight of others. This needed to change.

In the time I've been back, working not only on furthering the progress of this larger project, I've been having to get a large show ready for October. Both of these projects have been fun, challenging, and a little overwhelming. Luckily, though, I have been able, and motivated, to embrace the resources around me. In the face of some seemingly overwhelming tasks, I'm taking my own advice and asking for help from others. Sure, I could do these edits all on my own, but it's easier having some other eyes on it to get insight. It may be tough to reach out and ask for that help sometimes, even from people you know, but the value of it can not be quantified. The key was realizing there was a personal shell and breaking out of it.

The community in Augusta, and the surrounding area, has been more supportive to me than I could ever imagine, whether those in it realize it or not. Reaching out and asking for opinions and help is something that I would encourage anyone, anywhere, to do. The fellow artists around you, no matter the medium, are an invaluable resource. Utilize the help that they offer, whatever form it may come in, and return the favor in any way you can. Although we all see the world in a different way, as artists we see things in a way that is relatively similar. It is that similarity that allows us to be a resource to others.

It takes a little more leg work to get things done in a smaller community, but it's far from impossible. Although I can't claim to be a pinnacle of success, I have accomplished way more living in a small community than I would have ever thought possible. Like anywhere else, self-motivation is key, but it can only get you so far. There comes a time that we all need to reach out for the opinions of others. You may be the only photographer, painter, illustrator, or sculptor in the community, but the insight you get from people in other disciplines is just as valuable as that from the same medium as your own work. These artists will see things that you never considered, just as you will offer the same insight into their work.

I'd be lying if I said that everything eventually comes easy. It might in some smaller part, but overall it is a constant climb to reach a higher point in one's work. Knowing that others desire the same insight and help in their own process has allowed me to open up to more opinions from more people. I encourage everyone else to do the same; you won't be disappointed. 

Constantly Learning

As August begins I'm sitting at the computer, missing waking up to relatively cool, humidity-free mornings. I miss the short walks before breakfast and the way the sun would wake me up early. What is to be expected, though? I live in the south, where the humidity is that part of summer that we all have to expect, but still can't help but complain about. No matter one's politics, religion, or lifestyle, we all find common ground on our disdain for the oppressive humidity.

Please don't get me wrong, if there is one thing that I've learned over the past few years, it's that, with all of its flaws, I love the place that I live. Coming back from France was as much a welcome thing as it was unwanted. However, I knew once I got back, humidity aside, things were going to start moving non-stop.

Since being back I have settled into a routine that is not much different than the one I have had for the past year and a half. I find myself getting coffee in the morning and sitting behind my computer editing work. There is a difference, though, from the previous summer days. Although I'm still inside enjoying the cool air that counters the hot, humid southern summer, I have a focus that is more on point.

I have to laugh, though. Although I will stand by the fact that I have more focus on my goals and how to better achieve them, I'm still apt to make mistakes. I am human and FAR from perfect. In a  week I have managed to make mistakes that were not only steps in the wrong direction, but also seemed to have an effect on me personally. I think the right description would be gut-wrenching.

I won't go into detail about the mistakes I made, they're not that important. What is important, though, is what happened after they were made. As I've alluded to in the past, my confidence can be a real pain in the ass sometimes; I balance on the edge of infinite and sub-zero. However, I had a nice little boost of confidence and let it get the best of me. I tried to do too much at once and it came back to bite me. There is a silver lining, though. There always is.

A good friend of mine asked me the other day if there was something specific that I got out of my trip to France. The answer I gave was not so much an omission of the truth as it was just not putting all my pieces together in a relaxed conversation. I said that it was basically getting the road-map I needed to get closer to the personal goals that I had. What I didn't realize, but do now, is that I actually did gain a larger boost of confidence than I realized. However, this confidence isn't the type that most of us think about when we see or think about the term.

The confidence that I gained was not only that which would help me to push myself harder, but also the confidence to not just admit my mistakes, but to learn from them. This sounds simple, and I think we all feel that we try to do so, but this was different. I finally was able to take something that seemed crushing to me, something I felt so bad about that I didn't mention it to anyone else, and looked at what went wrong and how to fix it. It wasn't easy, it took some deep thought and introspection to pull a positive out of it, but in the end I feel better than I did before making my misstep. I not only learned, but made the situation better.

To wrap up this little bit of rambling, we all have these moments. We get caught up in the excitement of something and forget to check ourselves. The mistakes won't always be made, but when they are, don't just realize what you did. Look at what happened and ask yourself "why?". After that, not only see if you can fix the why, but see if there is something you can derive from the situation to make everything else in life, or whatever is related to the issue, run smoother. You'd be surprised what you figure out.

August has started out in its usual way for this area. It's hot, it's humid, and we are all complaining about it. I, however, at least have something to be grateful for. I make mistakes, I learn from them, and I make things better through what I've learned. Hopefully this will be a continuing thing, because I know there are more mistakes to be made in the future.

Big Stuff to Come, I Can See It Now

On January 27 of this year I completed and sent out an application for a residency/retreat in France. I had no expectation to get in, but I figured since it was free to apply and I probably should start applying to residencies. Fast-forward to today and I'm writing this from a hotel in Grenoble, France, the day after leaving The Photography Master Retreat in the village of Esparon.

For the last week I was in a wonderful circle of creativity perched upon a mountain in Provence. Arriving on a Saturday, knowing none of the other 12 people there, I left yesterday with connection to these people that I wouldn't have received in any other way. Somehow, through all the tedious work that we did, we not only managed to focus and streamline our work, but we also had fun.

I had gone into this experience a nervous wreck. Mainly due to the way I overthink things, I felt that even though I had spent the past three months working mainly on getting work prepared for this, I wasn't ready at all. I had a presentation to give when I arrived that I was working on up to the last minute. The moments I wasn't sleeping on the plain were spent with my notebook open, notecards spread out, and me just at the point of cracking. I had to force myself to just stop, knowing that sleep was more important than the presentation. Luckily I was right.

Upon arrival, after walking about 6 kilometers while being somewhat lost, it was time to get settled. I was happy to see that one of the other participants had also been a little lost, but she at least made it there without having to literally break a sweat. After a quick introduction we were shown our rooms and waited for the rest of the group to arrive. 

After a short period of time, all 13 of us were there. We slowly made introductions in the way it normally goes with groups like this. Some people are quick to introduce themselves, others more reserved, I'm in the middle, maybe closer to the latter. By the time we sat down for our first dinner I was going through the names I had already gotten. To be honest, I think it might have been lunch of the next day that I finally had everyone's name. 

I had help with the names due to the presentations we did on our first full day of work. I say work only because after having taken my last class in school almost twenty years ago, I don't have to do presentations that much anymore, and never to a small, intimate group of practical strangers about my work. It's on the level of having to confess your deepest, darkest secrets, face-to-face with the person you're trying to keep it from. If you had told me it was going to all be downhill from there, I would have almost believed you.

Over the next few days, though, I got to know not only the people I was surrounded by, but got the opportunity to see my work finally make the turn that it needed to, and help the others gain the same thing. I went from knowing there was something in a large collection of images with a broad common thread, to having a streamlined, focused project.

I am in no way saying that the project wasn't going in the right direction, but it was more like I was stuck in a holding pattern. I was beginning to think I would be like one of those people you hear about that say they're writing a novel, but have a manuscript that is over one thousand pages because they can't find an end point. I had kept working in the hopes that the end would show itself.

I now have a working edit to this project, a set of goals to reach over the next year or so, and a confidence in my work that I don't think I've ever solidly had before. Confidence in this project and what it is is no longer an issue.

So what am I getting at as I sit in this room at midnight, typing before I call it a night? Beyond the fact that I had probably more fun than anyone should have while working intensively on editing, writing an artist statement, and sequencing a project; I have a strong body of work ready to be seen... on a scale beyond what I was thinking. This all happened though by taking a chance.

Please don't trudge through your work hoping that something will happen. Don't get me wrong, there are times that it happens, but most likely it won't happen to you, me, or someone either of us know. You have to put the work in, and sometimes that includes other people. You don't have to go to France for those people either, although it's nice if you can. Go talk to other artists, sit down with them and show them your portfolio. Get ideas from their critique and apply the ones that work. Find someone who can help you edit and sequence your work. All these things will help to get you over whatever hump you feel like you can't get over.

All that said, I'll cut this off as I feel like I'm rambling. I did mention it's about midnight. I encourage you, if interested, to come back to the site in the near future. The tight edit of the project will be up and will be up. The rest of the site shouldn't change too much, but you'll get to see this edit, the sequencing, and hopefully (assuming I can figure it out) the statement. 

Thinking About 40

Most people who know me well are aware how much I tend to not celebrate my own birthday. I'm sure there are deep reasons for this, but I've never really dug into my psyche to really put a finger on it. For the most part, I don't like attention for something I feel that I didn't actually do. Yes, I managed to survive another trip around the sun, but I'd rather get recognition for things I've done, not just surviving. However, surviving sometimes is a tough task. I'll also admit that I'm having to work on accepting praise for the things I actually do, but that is something I have no problem working on.

All that said, today, by many people's standards, is a milestone birthday. I'm forty. I've been thinking about that off and on for the past few weeks, the approach of a number that as a child I thought was a marker of being a full-fledged adult. That is not to say that has been my opinion over the past few years. I've come to realize, as many have, that these days reaching forty is almost what thirty was when our parents were hitting the same age. Needless to say, I'm taking this birthday in stride and, outside of some lingering opinions to the contrary, feel like I'm actually about ten years younger than I actually am.

What I really have been thinking about has less to do with my birthday, but more to do with past and future, though. I jokingly made a comment to a friend that I was just celebrating being twenty for the second time, which in a way is true, and I got to thinking about some similarities. That comment, along with a photograph posted by my mother of me just before my 20th birthday, really made me realize an almost cyclical way life goes.

The image that made me start pondering things was one taken on a trip to Martha's Vineyard while in college. I was with a group of students from the photography department at Northeastern University, where I was a student at the time. It was morning, foggy, and cool as the mornings in early May typically are there. Everything was fresh and new that morning, including yours truly. Beyond remembering the trip itself and the good times that we had over the long weekend, it occurred to me what lay ahead in the very near future for almost-twenty me.

In July of 1998, the same kid in that photograph took off on a trip that would be, at least in hindsight, life changing. A month after my 20th birthday I was landing in Rome, Italy, gathering my bags to hop on a bus to Viterbo. The month of July would be spent taking a class not only in photography, but also an experiential one in culture, people, and myself. A good bit of what I would learn, as it usually does, would not be evident to me until much later in life, but as a younger person I was still a sponge soaking up knowledge as much subconsciously as consciously. 

To this day I still tell stories and fondly remember the time that I spent in Viterbo and the surrounding area. I enjoyed it so much that when I returned to Italy eleven years later, I had to go back. As a college student I was still very much the invincible young person, not afraid to travel alone in a place I knew very little of the language. Although I had some moments of caution, I still am amazed how much time I spent drinking wine from a box with three Iraqis, two of whom only spoke Arabic, outside of the train station in Milan. I must have been a little stupid in that choice, because my other memory from that day was the Finnish girl I had met on the train earlier walking by and making sure that I was actually safe.

Life was an open book that summer, as most of life was back then. I went hiking in Switzerland, watched the Tour de France on TV in a small mountain village, ate dinner at various people's houses along with their families, and got to watch the World Cup Final in a cave with about twelve other people. Some of these things I think back on and realize you can't make up something as interesting as that. What I realize more as I get older, though, is how truly fortunate I, and others who were there with me, was to have these experiences.

Now I fast-forward to today. It's June 9, twenty years later and I'm less than a month away from another adventure thanks to photography. I think I've mentioned it before, but this July I'm off to France for The Photography Master Retreat. The differences are there for sure, beyond my age. I'll only be in France for two weeks, not a month. I definitely will not be drinking wine, Iraqis or not; and unless I luck out, there will probably be no World Cup matches screened in caves (But if I find it, I'll be there). However, like 20 year old me, I'm looking forward to this adventure.

France, like Italy twenty years prior, will be completely new to me. Although I've flown through Paris, I've never spent time in France. To top it all off, I'll have to drive from Paris to southern France for the program, so the adventure starts immediately when I get there. I'd love to say that I know what I'm in for, but although I like to be as prepared as possible, the mystery of not knowing is what I look forward to the most. On top of that, I've developed my process of working in a way that works hand in hand with having extremely loose plans.

The past has fed and nurtured the future. Although I try not to dwell on the past, I can't deny that it informs the present and the future. Even though I try to keep it low key on my birthday, I can't help but think about things past. Today, however, I'm glad that I was reminded of a day that I was younger, looking to a future I was very much unaware of. I had hopes and dreams, some of which I have seen come true, others which never panned out, but it was for the better. What I realized today, though, looking forward once again to a similar experience that I had twenty years prior, is that the future is just as promising. I'm embracing this. I just hope that at 60 the feeling is similar.

Talk to People, Find Clarity

There comes a time when you realize that maybe you need to step back and rethink things. Not necessarily in a life changing way, but just in a way to reduce the clutter that can overcomplicate what doesn't need to be complicated. It's something I think we are all aware we need to do sometimes, but to make it happen can at times be a tedious task. Then again, sometimes there is something simple that happens, intentionally or accidentally, to make it all clear up and make the path you were on much easier to navigate.

As May turned into June I was glad that I had started working in advance on some things that needed to be done. It's not unusual for me, and I'd assume many others, to put myself in a position where I'm cramming to get things done at the last minute. I've always worked better that way, but as I've gotten older I've also realized that it causes an amazing amount of un-needed stress that I really would rather avoid. However, I found that even though I was working in advance, I was encountering another known nemesis of mine: Over Thinking.

In preparing to go to France in July, I've been working on a presentation of my portfolio that has been a long-term work in progress. I won't deny the fact that, as stressful as I can make it on myself, it has been enjoyable and enlightening. However, as time has quickly passed, I've also found that I am constantly pouring over things, building up points, tearing down others, and generally over analyzing something that should be simple. This is not to say that the larger body of work is, as a whole, a simple project, but I realized I may just need to step back for a minute and take a break.

I'd love to say that I mastered this concept all on my own, that through working diligently I came to this conclusion. I'm also not going to sit here and deny the fact that, in the end it was, if nothing else, my own inner light bulb that actually turned on. However, I did have a little help finding the switch.

I've had many conversations over the past few years with different people about the value of talking about your work with other people. Not in the sense of necessarily making a presentation, but just discussing what you've been working on. As usual, though, I'm not always the best about following my own advice, no matter how good it is. Luckily, I had the opportunity to visit with a former professor of mine over the weekend and got the insight I needed.

This visit, which was LONG overdue, was in no way meant to be a way for me to "figure things out", I just want to make that very clear. This was purely me going to see someone I consider a good friend and mentor to catch up and enjoy the time we got to spend together. As things go, though, we did talk about work and projects, but in a loose manner that I think was the key to the clarity I eventually had.

Often times, and I'm guilty of it myself, we avoid talking about our work. Sometimes this is through being overly humble, thinking you might bore others, or assuming that you can get by without sharing issues, good or bad. What I realized after the fact, though, was that through talking about my work with another artist, no matter the medium, I always seem to answer questions I didn't know I had and realize things that need to be addressed or ignored. It is not always the goal of the conversation, but given time to reflect on things you can find the clarity and answers you need to continue on your path.

Sometimes it is obvious that we need to clear up our thinking, other times we don't realize it until it happens. Either way, there is a value to discussing your work that you should never ignore. Get out there and find the people that you know and who's work you enjoy and talk to them. Go have lunch, grab coffee, whatever, and talk art. The whole conversation doesn't have to be about your current project, or theirs, but talk about whats on your mind. After that, give yourself the time to sit and let it all set in. The value of that simple, loose conversation can be immeasurable in the way it clears your head. 

Working on a Presentation (Comments Welcome)

Over the past week and a half I have been working on a presentation that I am having to give on my work as a whole, and specifically what I have been working on recently. To be honest, it has been a tough process. I imagine I'm not the only one who feels this way, but picking apart your own work is a tough process that is like dissecting yourself as a person. It's part of the job, I know, but it is something I'd like to improve so that its no longer such a tedious task. Because of all of this, I thought I would take the time to go ahead and give some input to you as a way of practicing. This will hopefully give you an idea of my process in general and also some more focus on the long-term project I have been working on. I will be sure to turn on the comment section, so if you feel compelled to give some constructive criticism, please do.

As I began working on my current project, I started out as I normally do. I go out shooting with    a purpose, but it is normally not evident to me at the time what that purpose is. Photography has always been more productive for me when it is organic and I just let the subject come to me. Going out with an open mind, attempting not to force myself to think too narrowly about a subject, large or small, allows me to see everything as an option. By working this way I have the freedom to form ideas and concepts as I go, yet not be constricted by any of them. This method keeps things moving in that organic fashion and allows me to explore in an unencumbered way.

For reasons that escape me now, I had decided to start investigating some of the small towns that surround the area I live in. If nothing else, they were easy to get to and, although I had been to a few of them before, most of them were new to me. There has always been a feeling of familiarity to these towns, yet also something foreign about them. Even though the first few I went to would be considered part of the larger community of the region I live in, walking through them was like being a tourist, an outsider. In a way this allowed me to look at things as if they were completely new to me. Had I seen many of these things before? Yes, but they were up close and personal now, like going to a museum and finally seeing a painting in person that you had only before seen in books and magazines. This feeling allowed me to put aside recollections of driving past these places and to start actually seeing them. My interest had been peaked and I began to see possibilities, if only on a small scale.

As I continued pursuing more of these smaller communities, I began to see something bigger developing. I was constantly going back and looking at images that I had made over multiple outings and seeing similarities, not only in landscape and subject, but in the way I was shooting. The images were forming in ways that, although different, had common threads. I would normally think this annoying and try to stop being repetitive, but there was something that seemed to be coming forward through this way of seeing. Not so much a narrative or comment about the place itself, but an interaction of the place and myself. I had been bouncing back and forth in my mind trying to figure out what I was saying about this landscape. What was the message that these places had to say? In the end I stumbled upon the fact that the work is not just about these places, but also about me. 

I have written pages and pages in my journal about the past of these towns, how things have changes and time has seemingly left them and moved on. I have commented on the closed shops, the small diners, and the loss of commerce suffered by the loss of the railroad or a local mill. These things are true about many of these places, but what I always came back to and questioned is "why?". Not why did these towns become what they are today, but why is the image important? 

What I began to realize is that the images themselves are questions and answers. Both of these, though, are not only about the places, but about myself. The work has become a series of comments about who I am, while questioning what this particular town, building, or sign is. As someone who is definitely an outsider to these communities, I am applying my own thoughts and statements to them through the images. I'm simultaneously asking and answering more questions by framing these places in a way that breaks them up, shows their imperfections, subtle humor, and seeming emptiness. I try not to be too forceful, to be, as Eggleston put it, democratic. By doing so, this leaves the viewer to pose their own questions, make their own answers, or do both while exploring the image.

There is a subtle complexity to the small town that seems, I think, often missed at first glance. We all have our preconceived ideas about what goes on there, what it might be like to live there, but rarely do we take the chance to stare at it and investigate ourselves through it piece by piece. Through this work in progress, I invite the viewer to question the image, the subject, and themselves. The image is the answer to the question posed by the images itself.

Vacation vs. Work-ation

This year has been full of traveling. I can't think of a year that I have been moving around this much, and there is still more to come. Some of this has been photography related, and the other has been for pleasure alone. What they all have in common has been the opportunity to get out and see more. For that I am truly grateful for the opportunities made available to me. What I have realized, though, is there is something good about breaking free from yourself and your work when you can.

I was fortunate enough to attend the opening of a show I was part of in Budapest earlier this year. Obviously part of that trip was work related, but there was the vacation side of it too. I had never been to Budapest, so I took the opportunity to see what I could and get out and shoot while there. The shooting didn't have more to it than just getting out and staying fresh and staying busy, but I still came away with some good images. Although it was fun and I wouldn't have done it any other way, it was, in many ways, as much a working trip as a vacation. I wouldn't say that a body of work was produced, but my mind was in work mode most of the time. This has become a habit which has its pros and cons, and has been something I tend to do everywhere I go. I made a change, however, that I can't suggest enough, no matter what your field of work is.

This past weekend my dad and I went to New York to ride in the Five Boro Bike Tour. It was the second time for me, the first for him, and it was a wonderful experience. If you like to ride bikes, no matter what your level of experience, I can't suggest it enough. Like every trip, my camera was with me the whole time, but it only came out one day. This isn't because I wasn't seeing anything, or that I just wasn't motivated, I just made a conscious decision to not pull it out.

I had been to New York before and every time had my camera with me. Whether by myself or with someone else, the camera was out and I was always thinking about shooting. This time was different, though. At 70 years old, it was my dad's first time to the city and what I wanted more than anything was for him to have a good time. It was time to put my desire to find tucked away spots to the side and enjoy a vacation with my father. That decision was the best thing I could have done.

Sentimentality aside, I experienced something that I've heard many people, including myself, talk about, but had never really realized personally. I was able to take a break and enjoy my surroundings for what they are. I took a vacation.

I'm again going to note that my mind was still working as a photographer's mind will. I was still looking, seeing, and framing in my head; it's not something you can just turn off. Once you start to see and form your way of seeing, it becomes a constant thing. However, I didn't let it take the wheel as I normally do. I pulled the camera out a few times as we passed things that I just couldn't let pass, but overall I fought the urge to "work". It was a feeling that I didn't even notice until we were on our way back home, but one that I'm now blissfuly conscious of.

In no way am I saying that the other trips I've been on have felt completely like work. I love what I do and that makes it easy for me to do it and derive a great pleasure from it. However, there is the knowledge that I'm also constantly thinking about what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, and what I can do with it; all of these things that were washed away by allowing myself to put work aside for a few days.

I'm continually thankful that I have the ability to do what I do. I'm fortunate to be able to go the places I have gone and have enjoyed every one, but I can't express how nice it is to just take a break sometimes. Whether it's a trip out of country or a weekend get away, take time to disconnect and enjoy the moment.

(I hope that none of this came across as being pretentious. I know I'm extremely lucky to have had the opportunities that I have and it is not something I take for granted. A special thanks to my dad for sharing a wonderful weekend I'll never forget. Also, major thanks to my mom for springing my dog from the kennel early! Love you both and thank you for all you do.)

Getting Some Focus and Saying Thank You

Like many people, I have a hobby that allows me to get away from things. My hobby is cycling. Beyond the obvious benefits of exercise and the chance to get outside, it gives me time to think and reflect on whatever has been going on in my life.

As I've shared with some people in the past, I like using my time on the bike to think because it forces me to concentrate. What I mean by this is that I can only think about one thing at a time. I try to stay as safe as possible, and to do so takes some concentration. This concentration takes up a good bit of my brain, so I have found that I can only think about one other thing at any given time. I guess the best way to put it is that I have limited multitasking skills while on two wheels. I like it this way, though. As I ride for an hour or two I can focus on one thing at a time and get some insight that I normally don't while reading, watching television, or even talking about whatever issue it is with someone else. It is very much my meditation time.

Unfortunately I have been a little lazy the past few months. I was going to say weeks, but I decided today that I was going to stop lying to myself, so there. After a two week hiatus I decided it was time to get rolling again. I had been out to shoot in the morning, got coffee, went to the grocery store, all the chores were done; it was be lazy and bored, or ride and think. I was smart and took the latter.

After getting prepared to go out, I hopped on the bike and was on my way. By the time I left my neighborhood the first thought hit me. Today is the 21st of April, I got married eleven years ago today. If you've known me long enough, you know about that. If not, SURPRISE! (Spoiler, I'm divorced) This was how my thinking started, going over an eleven year span in a relatively quick period.

I have to be honest, there is a lot about the past eleven years that I don't remember. A lot of that is for good reasons, who really remembers much detail over eleven years. I obviously remember big things, important stuff. I also, full disclosure, drank about four of those years into obscurity, so there's that too. Either way, I quickly scanned through that time and brought myself to this week and the real reason I sat down at the computer tonight.

I found out at the beginning of the week that I was awarded first prize in the Street Photography category of a photography competition. As I have in the past, I posted a little thing on social media so that I can make sure that all those who would want to know can see it. And just like writing the first sentence of this paragraph, it was hard. I started to worry about things that aren't issues, like if the competition was legitimate? Does this look like boasting? Am I being too proud? Needless to say, and I'm being very open here, I do have some paranoia issues.

The biggest thing that came to mind was that I knew I'd start getting congratulations. I'm horrible with congratulations! Even if I think that I'm deserving of them, and I rarely do, I still don't know how to handle them. I will admit that I think I've gotten better, but I still catch myself, usually after the fact, talking down whatever the accomplishment is. 

This is where my mind landed when my thinking finally got to this week. How did I handle a success? Did I do well? Okay? Shitty? My guess was probably all of the above. I had had multiple interactions with people over the week where it had come up, but all of them seemed to mesh together in my mind. They all had me not knowing what to say beyond thank you, then trying to figure out if I should go ahead with my usual downplaying of the situation. 

So this was what dominated my thoughts while riding my bike today. Started out with the reminder that I could have been married eleven years, then right into me going over how ungrateful I probably have come across to multiple people this week. This is hardly the glowing endorsement that cycling needs. Cycling is amazing! Just trust me on that and know that if you ever want some advice on how to get into it, I'd be more than happy to point you in the direction of who can tell you if I can't. This, however, is not where this ends, there is a positive! (YAY CYCLING!)

What I realized today was that I did something cool. I started really putting my work out full force just over a year ago. In that time I've done more than I could have ever imagined I could in that amount of time. I realized today that I don't stop sometimes and step back to take a look. I came home and went online to the site of the competition and did a count. I have no idea how many actual applicants there were this year, they didn't give a number like they did last year, but I beat out 32 nominees from 15 different countries. Sure, maybe that's not that big of a deal to some, but it was pretty cool looking back at it.

So, after looking at all of that and getting my perspective back in line, I want to make a few last points. First of all, I want to say a heartfelt thank you to every single person who gave me a congratulations over the past week. I honestly and truly thank you. Most of you are more support than you actually know. Please also know that if I sounded like I was blowing you off, it was unintentional and a direct result of my own lack of clarity and, at times, confidence. Last of all, don't forget to give yourself the time to reflect every once in a while. It may not solve things completely, but you may be able to answer some small questions that will help the bigger picture.

Time: I think I may have finally figured it out

I have spent the past week doing some suggested reading for a program I'm attending in France this summer. It has been enjoyable, informative, and a welcome distraction from the thousands of people who are in town for the Masters. One of the books, Susan Sontag's "On Photography", I have read in the past and am revisiting, the other that I have finished is Roland Barthes' "Camera Lucida". Both have been a welcome exercise in rethinking photography and looking deeper into practice and theory. Best of all, its like being in school again, although I'm sure some would debate the fun of that.

What I have noticed through reading these, and so far in some of the further reading that I have already delved into (there are five books on the list), is something that was brought up to me by a professor and mentor as an undergraduate: Time.

For a long time I have been trying to express my own thoughts on time and how it pertains to my own photography. There is the obvious, which is that any photographic exposure is dependent upon time, but it goes deeper than that. Maybe it was being so removed from the academic setting, or maybe just time itself slipped away from me, but all the times I tried to express my thoughts on the issue I kept hitting a wall. I will freely admit, though, having just read two very thorough works that delve into photo theory and criticism has been a catalyst for my thoughts to finally come to a point that I feel I can verbally express them. However, I also feel like I could go down a rabbit hole that may make me sound like I'm trying to be far more introspective and sure of my thoughts than I actually am.

It's funny, though, that time would be the one thing that has baffled me. I have known from what I've learned in classrooms, readings, and discussions over the years that time, if nothing else, is the core of photography; not just in the way that we create images, but in the way that we see them and the way that we consume them. An image is a moment captured, a time passed. Whether it was yesterday, fifty years ago, or fifty seconds ago, what we see in an image is no more.

This idea that the moment has passed seems to be more obvious in images that contain people, whether they are the subject or not. It is easy for us to look at a person and tell from their attire, or possibly our familiarity with the actual person, that a certain amount of time has past since the image was captured. Clothing may have changed, the person in the image may be younger than they are now, or even a part of the background may be known to have changed; either way we are very aware that time has passed. What is interesting about this, though, is how it affects how we see theses images and how we think about them.

As time passes, and we are aware that an image is older, we start to have internal questions. What was the reason an image was taken? What was going on? Where is this person now? Does this place still exist? All of these questions have run through my own head for years as I have looked at work from countless photographers. I even look at my own work at times and ask similar questions. Yet, my own work is where I began to wonder how some of what I have been reading really applies.

Mind you, all of what I was reading was musings about work created by people other than the writer themselves (so far). As I mentioned before, many, if not all, of the images referenced were of or contained people. This making much of the writing either easy for the reader to understand, or the writer to express, clearly. My work, however, tends to have no people in it at all, though. This started to make me wonder how what I was reading could apply to what I do and what I want my work to say.

What I started to realize was that all the various musings of time that were being made, those about the people in the images, could very well be applied to my work or that of others who tend to stray from including people. For one, there is a person in every image... Me. I am the one behind the camera, I am the guide, the one who has said what was important at that moment in time that the viewer should also see. This part is simple, if not visually evident. The other thing that I realized was the content.

Every image of mine has people in it, if you consider time. There is something in every image, if not most of the image, that is made by people. Buildings, objects, vehicles, all of things are of and by people. They may not be actually people themselves, but they are a direct result of people creating them. As time is concerned with the content of the photographs, it is upon the viewer to ask questions again, but with a different reference. No longer are we asking is this person alive, or what are they doing now? Now we look and wonder what has gone on there? What does that look like now, and if it's different, why is this rendering important?

Over the years I have struggled with the idea that time is something of great importance to photography, but I have come to find I might have been overthinking it. Yes, based on time and the questions it causes us to ask ourselves about images, time can seem to be something deep and contemplative, something only academics would write books about. However, I have come to find that everything about the photograph is and is of time. Our understanding, our seeing, and all that we process is informed by and moved by time.

I hope that I didn't go too deep for everyone. I really get a kick out of photo theory and criticism, so I have a tendency to ramble when I write or speak of it. If you had seen some of the stuff I deleted before posting this you'd be glad this is all I dumped on you. I highly recommend, though, if you are interested in any of these ideas, to read both Sontag and Barthes. They give a very interesting look into photography that you may not have considered, or thought so intently about before. 

Learning from New Places: Thoughts on Travel and Work

I'd be lying if I said that there was no such thing as a hangover from travel. Most people are aware of jet lag and the normal sense of just being somewhat tired for a day or two after returning from a trip, no matter how long or short. I've definitely been feeling this and am luckily getting through it with some good sleep and coffee when needed. However, I have also found that there is another type of hangover from travel.

Maybe it is just specific to photography, or on a broader spectrum, the creative type, but there seems to be a useful hangover that happens after travel. As a photographer, I find that my observing of the surroundings I have just been exposed to seep into my thinking when I return. This is nothing really new to me, but it is something you forget about over time. I have seen it returning from Portland, Oregon, in the same way that I see it now upon returning from Budapest. Our experiences, visual or social, become part of our general knowledge. We are now aware of things that we either have forgotten or never knew.

I've found myself over the past few days trying to look at my familiar surroundings of home as if I was visiting from another place. What might someone from Hungary think about the architecture of Augusta, Georgia? Would it speak to some notion of what the United States is to them? Is it what they expected, or is there a subtle difference than the preconceived notion they had in there mind before leaving home? As I walked my dog this afternoon, these were questions that I was considering. As new houses go up in my still growing neighborhood, all relatively familiar in shape and style, I wonder if there is a uniqueness to them that I no longer notice because of their commonality in my everyday experience.

These questions, though, I find to be valuable in the larger scheme of my own work. There is an advantage in being familiar with the common details of the small towns I shoot in, however I can't help but think applying a different way of thinking can help attain a better visual translation. In thinking about what was unique and somewhat foreign to me in other places, I find a guide to a more intense way of seeing places that have had a familiarity to me my entire life.

I've been talking with many friends the past few days, telling stories about the things I saw and the people I spoke to. We forget sometimes how common we are to other people. It's amazing how I have had similar conversations at home to the conversations I've had in Italy, Hungary. We discuss differences and similarities as a way to relate to each other on the surface, but also, subconsciously, to find a deeper understanding. It's these conversations, and the visual observing, that I find creeping into how I approach a project I've been working on for over a year now.

I will readily admit that a good bit of the time I spent in Budapest last week was spent being a tourist. It was as much a vacation as it was attending an opening of a show I was in. However my work and my experiences are never separate from each other, so I shouldn't be surprised that one of the bigger takeaways from this experience was how it can effect and further my current and future work.

The travel hangover shouldn't be something to complain about. Don't get me wrong, we all complain about being tired, and unless you had a horrible time, you still wish you were back wherever you returned from at times. I, however, am taking this hangover and filing it into the continuously growing set of tools I can use to better the quality of my work.

Budapest (I can't fit it all into one blog)

I tried to write an entry yesterday, thinking that I'd remember more while things were fresh in my mind. What I failed to realize was that as tired as I was I couldn't even remember what day it was. Now that I've had a good nights sleep and have recharged a little, I think I might be able to speak a little about the trip, why I was there, what I saw, and not have my words clouded by a haze of exhaustion.

For those who didn't know, the main reason I went on this trip was that I had a piece in a show at PH21 Gallery in Budapest. This was the second show that I have been part of there, but the first time, and likely the only, that I was able to actually get away to be there. As much as I'd like to go to every show I'm in, thats not usually the case, but I can't think of a better excuse to go to a new place. 

The gallery is small, but very well put together and deals specifically with photography. After walking in and looking at all the work in the show I was introduced to Krisztina Domjan, the gallery director, and Anita Spingar-Westerlund, the gallery assistant. They were both extremely welcoming and introduced me to some of the other artists who were in attendance. Most of the photographers who were there were from Hungary, but there was also one from Slovenia and another visiting from Montreal. Any nervousness that I had upon entering an unfamiliar place was immediately washed away as we all began to talk and get to know each other. After the opening was through, a large group of us continued on to a restaurant/bar to further socialize. I'd go on about the discussions that we had, but I'll just keep it short and say that it was refreshing and just as welcoming as one could ever want.

While at the opening, I was informed by Krisztina that the crowd was not as large as usual because there were multiple events going on that night due to the Budapest Photography Festival going on that weekend. I'd love to say that I was well aware of that before going on this adventure, but it was news to me. The up-side, though, was that there would possibly by more people flowing through the gallery over the weekend, and that there were more exhibits around the city that I could go see.

One of the exhibits I made a specific point to see was "Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich". The show was work by photographer Sandro Miller, and was an homage to multiple classic photographs and photographers. All works were recreations of well known photographs by some of the masters of photography. If you are curious about the title, every recreation featured Miller's friend, John Malkovich, as the subject of the photographs. Maybe because I was familiar with all the photographs that were recreated, but I couldn't help but laugh out loud at most of the images. The ones I didn't laugh at brought a smile to my face as I imagined myself seeing many of these for the first time... without Malkovich. If you are interested in seeing the images, you can find them here.

I could go on and on about details that I loved about Budapest. I had been to Europe twice before, but had never spent any time in a large city, and had never been to Eastern Europe. Both of these things allowed for some new experiences that I'll probably have to share at a later time. What it definitely allowed me, though, was to see everything in a fresh and unbiased way. Outside of knowing a little about the communist history of Hungary and the surrounding region, everything was new to me and offered a visual playground that I only got to see a sampling of.

Budapest has so much to offer. As I sit here briefly thinking over the entire trip, I'm beginning to realize there are things that I wish I had time to see. However, I can't express how amazing the sights that I did see were. I'm sure I will write again at some point about some of the sights, but I just wanted to put out this little bit to give you an idea of where I was and why. I'll end this, though, saying that if you ever have the chance to experience Budapest, don't pass it up!

Getting Your Work Out and Taking Advantage of It

The past year and a half has been a real whirlwind when I look back on it. I went from making a decision to focus solely on my own work in the latter half of 2016 and haven't looked back since. That's not to say that I haven't questioned myself. Anyone who knows me would tell you that questioning myself is probably what I'm best at.

Over this time I have been sending work off to be judged and juried by countless people. I have had the great fortune of having work selected, and of course, more often than not, rejected. You take the good with the bad, forget about the bad, and keep trudging forward. Through all of this, though, I have had some wonderful opportunities that never would have happened had I not decided to throw caution to the wind and put myself out there. If you are an artist of any medium reading this and haven't done so, I highly advise you start putting your work out there for a larger audience to see, critique, and question. It can be nerve wracking and painful at times, but in the end it is far more rewarding than asking yourself down the line, "what if?" Listen to those around you when they give you encouragement, even if you don't believe it. As one peer said to me when I questioned the validity of my own work, "You've been looking at it too long." Don't let your own notions hold you back, we are our own worst critic.

I mention all of this because I still have these lingering feelings and self criticisms that are hard to shake. I'm far more confident about my work and the direction I'm headed, but getting used to this being "what I do" has taken time. I'm a lot more reserved than some of the people who know me might think, and as much as I desire to talk about my work, I sometimes have a hard time mustering the forwardness to bring attention to myself. That probably seems odd as you read this since this is exactly what tend to do in this blog; however, you the reader are not sitting in the room with me either.

The mix of confidence and questioning, though, has brought me to a point that I didn't think I would be a year ago. Not only am I going to another opening where I'll try not to hide myself, but I'm traveling. I've done this twice before and found a lot of reward in it, beyond the traveling itself. Last year I went to both Portland, Oregon, and Zebulon, Georgia, for shows in which I had work. Outside of a good excuse to go somewhere new and/or fun, traveling to these places solo can be a good exercise in breaking through one's shell and establishing a confidence you didn't know you had.

What I found from both my trips last year was a fresh and new look at not only my own work, but that of others and how the two play off each other in similarities and differences. Talking to other artists who are outside of your bubble can give you perspective far beyond what you would get at home. I love the community of artists in my own area, but as I've told people before, and was told before by others, you need to get outside of that home sphere.

For the third time in a year I'm leaving my comfortable sphere of home and traveling because of my photography. Trust me when I say that comment still sounds a little foreign to me. What's new and different this time is that I'm going overseas, by myself, to a country that I have no knowledge of the official language, to be at an opening. I will be going to Budapest, Hungary at the end of March. I'm reading what I just typed and still it seems crazy, but good crazy. I'm sure I'll have more to say about this when I get back, and I'll definitely share about it come April, but I expect this to be as rewarding as the last two adventures (they are adventures).

If you have work in a gallery and it's outside of your town, even if its only two towns over, try and make it to the opening. As I mentioned previously, getting an outsider's perspective is something that is indispensable. Make an effort to talk to other artists, patrons of the gallery, and even gallery managers. You never know, you could make some great connections that will help you down the road. The worst that happens is you get to see somewhere new and have the knowledge that everyone there had the opportunity to see your work, people that never would have if you didn't put it out there to be seen. 

Thank You, Morris Museum

As I started to write this it occurred to me that this is my fourth blog entry in less than a months time. I would like to think that's a good thing, but then again I also don't want anything to seem to watered down either. That aside, let me get to the reason I'm writing a second entry in one week.

I want to say thank you to the Morris Museum of Art in Augusta, GA.

In July of last year I was contacted by one of my friends who works at the museum about helping out with their Teen Arts Council. The idea was that the artists who would be participating would meet with the group once a week for a three week period to talk about their work, process, and what it's like being a working artist. The teens, ages 13 to 17, were given the opportunity to learn what it's like once you are in the real world making work part of your life, and for me to impart some of the knowledge I've gained along the way. In the end it was rewarding beyond measure.

I have to admit, going into this I was a little nervous. It had been years since I had taught a class and the last time I had to talk about my work to a group of people might have been while I was still in school myself. It's a little challenging thinking that I not only had to talk about my work, but also present it in a way that showed confidence that I don't always have. This particular thought is the reason that I requested to participate at this time of year. I thought that giving myself this much time would allow me to be prepared and convinced that what I was presenting was of value to the audience. What I didn't expect was the value it would have for me.

It was a pleasant surprise to see how eager these students were to soak up information. After the first week, presenting my work and process, the questions that were asked were insightful and fun to answer. The second week, since I don't have a physical studio, and taking people to my house would just be odd, we watched a video about William Eggleston (go figure) and discussed his work and influence on my own, followed again by great questions. The last day, however, was the one that was the most fun.

Outside of some overcast weather and the prospect of rain, I took the group on a photo walk for an hour. I'm not much of a talker when it comes to shooting, so I had to kind of break out of my shell a little, but in the end it seemed a success. It was fun to watch all these teens taking pictures in their own way, free from any structure but their own. I get set in my own working mode that I never stop to think about the way that other people see the world. You can look at other people's images and try to imagine how they came up with them, but to actually watch it happen is a whole new experience. 

I can't express how much fun this experience was. If you ever get a chance to do something like this, take advantage of it. Don't let your preconceived notions get in the way or make you pass up the opportunity. Whatever your passion is, be it art, technology, history, share it with the younger generation. To see them have fun and engage with a subject in their own way is not only rewarding, but gives you a new perspective on whatever topic or activity is that you enjoy.

Again, thank you to the Morris Museum for the opportunity. Thank you to Jason Walter for reaching out, it wouldn't have been this easy without your help.

A Little More Personal

When writing these blogs, I try to keep things from being personal. I don't feel that this is necessarily the forum to let out my personal issues and strive to keep this about photography . However, sometimes you have to break your own rules, and this is one of those times.

Some of you may not know this, but I have been sober for almost four years. This has been an amazing journey that has been full of self discovery and challenges. I have been fortunate enough to have a good support group over this time and have yet to be put in a position where I would consider picking up a drink again. I can't express how much happier I have been and can say without a doubt that this blog, and the website it is on, would not exist had I not made this choice.

Over the past few years I have been humbled to have a number of people come to me with questions about how things have been for me and how I might be able to help them in their own decision to make a similar choice. It was one of these conversations that happened recently that made me want to talk about this and how it has helped me in my work over the past few years. There was no specific question that got my mental gears spinning on this subject, but just that the conversation happened again.

The most important thing that came to mind, and this isn't the first time, is that my mind is clear. That's not to say that I don't have things that bother me, we all do, but my mind is clear enough to focus on them and try to fix them instead of putting them aside and hoping they'll go away. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect, some of these things don't get handled the right way, but I try, and that's the most important part.

One of the problems I have had, though, is something I have found is normal, but can be annoying at first. As someone who is creative, my mind doesn't stop moving. As soon as one thought is out of my head, the path is clear for the next one to come barreling through. It can be annoying, and if you clouded your mind with alcohol, drugs, or anything else, once that's out of your system you can't ignore these thoughts. It's as if someone has opened the dam and started letting all the water out at once.

I'm not saying that these thoughts are bad, though. Most of them are new ideas about how to further my work. The problem is that when you were used to them coming at a trickle, the deluge of thought can seem overwhelming at times! As I told a friend of mine, while I was drinking I was under the false idea that if I quit I would lose my creative edge. What I didn't realize was that I just barely hanging onto my creative edge. Once I quit and the floodgates opened, I couldn't write down ideas fast enough. 

There are some drawbacks to this, though. Yes, I have ideas, good and bad, that come in quick succession. I have motivation that has pushed me to do better, and after I do, I have to better what I just did. The motivation is wonderful, but it is also what causes me to question myself, sometimes way more than I should. Like anyone who makes art, I am my own worst critic. I beat myself up way more than I ever give myself credit. In a way, this is part of what keeps me going, but I also have to check myself at times. I have to be aware that not everyone is going to care about what I'm doing. Not everyone is going to find things as interesting as I do, and some might even be vocal about it. However, this has also been where my choice has made me stronger, because I can eventually convince myself that it doesn't always matter what others think. Not all art is enjoyed by everyone. There are many people who love romantic landscapes, others who are all about portraits, and some who love abstract art; but no one is going to love all things the same. 

I'm not saying that the problems I have stem from my quitting drinking, neither are the positives. I am, however, able to tell the difference now. I am able to handle the good and the bad. There are many people out there who have never had the problems I had with my substance of choice, or any other for that matter. These issues with my work are ones that they have to deal with too. The difference, though, is that I had to remove something from my life to open up a door I shut on myself for a while.

I hope that all of this has made sense to most of you. I wrote this quickly and feel that, for once, I'm not going to go over this and pick it apart. This is something from the more personal side of me that needs to be just written a little more in a free-form fashion. I hope that anyone who is reading this who might be struggling can get help. Don't ever be afraid to ask for it, it can be the best decision you ever make.